Tw// religious themes and implications towards cults, self destructive behaviour, and homophobia, internalized homophobia, extreme self loathing, slight implications of injury

Willow Ainsworth

Trivia

• while he claims he dislikes marbles, deep down he actually finds them quite beautiful, and thats why he claims to dislike them
• he has surprisingly only been to a psychiatric hospital once
• he has a pet dog named Michael, a mixed breed dog his father gave him
• despite those in the faction of The Order of the Angel that Willow belongs to looking up to and admiring him, Willow has very few true friends
• he is red/green color blind

"Poor mutt, your bite is worse than your bark, you better pray all that anger and filth away."

Willow is a very quiet and polite young man, with a kind demeanor, and a big heart, many assume he must lead a joyful and carefree life from his personality. Yet his appearance tells a different story. His eyes are sunken in, and his body appears frail, some who see him worry he may be sick. He cannot hide the fear and exhaustion in his voice, and his hands are often shaking, truth be told, Willow is extremely hard on himself. Ever since he was a child he has suffered a great and all consuming fear of sinning, and he will do anything to avoid sin, even if it is a mere thought entering his head. He views himself as impure and unworthy, maybe one day someone can show him how untrue this belief is.

Last Seen Listening To: The House With no Doorbell by McCafferty

A Poem

Love, I was taught I could never love you. That it's wrong, that our god would never allow something so abhorent. I am supposed to be a man of god am I not? That's how they all see me. They treat me as if I am merely incapable of sin And I know they are being mislead. How can I remain so pure, when I have fallen for you? When your mere presence makes my heart feel warm and soft. As a man I was told, I shall only love a woman like this. So what does that make me? When I love another man like this? You've said its natural, and they say it's unnatural, so which is it? You softly reassure, wash away my fears in the moment. So I may block out them screaming through a megaphone into my ears Preaching of how wrong these feelings are. I keep them inside, in case they're right. But everyday, I feel the strings of my heart, they feel as if they'll snap one day My heart may explode, for I cannot contain these feelings. I fear the only solution is to purge these feelings. Yet when I speak of trying to rid myself, you look at me with this sorrowful look in your eyes. Why must you make such a face? Even if these feelings aren't wrong, do you really deserve such a broken and filthy man such as myself? I'm out of ideas now. The clock has turned to 4:30am, I love you Salem, but I'm not sure if I should. Are these people really in the right? I just want a solid answer.